In sickness and health, for bitter or Bierce? Catfish, moose, baboons, bucks, fawns and jackals; Common(wealth) criminals; Nothing (almost) comes before “family”; A mother only a mugshot could love;

PUZZLERIA! SLICES: OVER (1110 + 98) SERVED

Welcome to our May11th edition of Joseph Young’s Puzzleria! 
Happy Mothers Day! 
The image pictured here is my late mother Helen keeping Noosie, her kitten, company.
To start us off this Mothers Day weekend, here is a maternal sestet:

MOTHER

Like the moth to the flame

There is no other name

That can draw us. Her mission?

Our human condition.

Furthermore, not another
Compares to our mother!

Our featured puzzle this week is another excellent comic-themed conundrum composed by Patrick J. Berry (screen name: cranberry) of Jasper, Alabama. 
This typically entertaining puzzle served up by Patrick is a puzzle-solver’s feast that involves the entertainment industry. 
You will find Patrick’s poser under our Appetizer Menu. It is titled “Comedy Actory Appetizer: In sickness and health, for bitter or Bierce?” 
Thank you, Patrick.

Also on our menus this week are:
ONE Summing of Surnames Appetizer;
ONE Family Values Dessert;
ONE M-O-T-H-E-R Mongoose Dessert; and
SIX Crimea Up-the-river Riff-Off Slices.

So on this day in May, celebrate with us your mother, or fond memories of your mother. 
And, have a motherlode of fun on Puzzleria!... your mother’s favorite puzzle blog.

Appetizer Menu

Comedy Actory Appetizer:
In sickness and health, for bitter or Bierce?



Think of a well-known actor/comedian, first and last names. 
His first name, when uncapitalized, is a common English word. Remove the first letter and another word remains – a synonym of “unhealthy.” This synonym, when paired with the uncapitalized form of the actor’s first name, forms a two-word phrase meaning “bitterness.” 
Change one letter in the uncapitalized first name, and you’ll get an antonym of “unhealthy”. Change a different letter in the name, and you’ll get a synonym of an adjective that sounds phonetically like the actor’s last name. 
Who is this actor?
What is the synonym of “unhealthy”?
What is two-word phrase meaning “bitterness”?
What is the antonym of “unhealthy”?
What is the synonym of an adjective that sounds phonetically like the actor’s last name?
Hint #1: One of the many films starring this actor has a very short title which contains only letters found in his last name. 
Hint #2: On TV, this actor has been known to “play music” using a somewhat unusual instrument, one whose name ends with the same three letters as his last name. 
  

MENU

Summing Surnames Slice: 
Catfish, moose, baboons, bucks, fawns and jackals

Solve the 30 clues below. Most answers (all which appear to the right of the equal signs) are common lowercase words found in standard dictionaries.
Example:
0. Actor Adam + Actor Burt = word that precedes “Ho!”
(Answer: West + Ward = westward)
1. Oscar collector Edith + an “Athletic” Catfish = bean-baller, or helmet-to-helmet spear-tackler
2. Actress/Renaissance woman Ruby + Chief Justice John = platter-spinner
3. Racehorse ___ Lap + actor William = “mortar & pestle place”
4. Meteoric Knicks’ sensation Jeremy + a Billie Jean not immortalized by the King of Pop = Sausage-maker’s task 
5. “Never Let Me Go” singer Johnny + Actress/model Sharon = a phonograph recording disk, perhaps
6. Prince’s “Queen of Percussion” Sheila +  Guitar soloist Robert = Trigger-like, Silvery or like a Champion
7. Author Harper + Moose and Squirrel cartoonist Jay = Downwind
8. Actress Jessica + A-Teamer Mr. + Stars & Stripes sewer Betsy = Ichiro’s neckwear?
9. Nixon “sackee” Archie + Actress Dominique = helmsman
10. Spouse of a stove-namesake, Deborah + Lucy sidekick Vivian = Again go forward
11. Archies “Sugar, Sugar” composer and backup singer Andy + Beatles up-breaker Yoko = literally, “a thing to wear”
12. Author and Baptist minister’s daughter Amy + NFLer-turned-novelist Peter = “uncurvy curve-kisser”
13. Canadian comedian John + news anchor turned U.S. senator Rod = SNL Land Shark’s ruses
14. Former Cardinal cager coach Denny + Minnesota poet Robert = word describing “the way of all cookies”
15. “Effervescent” entertainer Don + Chinese Rocket Yao = A kind of pigeon
16. Martyred gay activist Harvey + a self-martyred “jackal” Sydney = a container displaying missing kids (2 words)
17. Folkie musician Jerry or Jim + Catholic Worker Dorothy = Beatles song title
18. “Man at Work” Colin + “Young Buck” Thon = Likely knockout blow
19. Herbert Pocket’s  fiancée Clara + Mother Jones journalist David = a unit of length equal to a third of an inch
20. Tony Award winner Tommy + British actor Maggie = Boyce or Hart or King or Goffin, for example
21. QB Milt who holds the NFL record for a 20-yard pass completion to himself(!) + Piston Dave who became Detroit’s mayor = an informal jocular euphemism for the urinary, execretory and/or reproductive systems
22. Sycamore and Celtic Larry + John of  “Four thirty-three” fame = the American remake of  “La Cage aux Folles,” with “The...”
23. Comedian Lewis + Laker Lonzo = a synonym of (Songwriter of Monkees’ hits Tommy - e) + (Giant Mel)
24. Grammy-magnet Bruno + a Fawn who followed a “Magnetic North”  = Crenshaw or Dillon
25. Actor Elijah + Golf writer Herbert = “fruit,” “claret,” “pickle,” “hobo” or “baboon?” (if you’re not listening or reading real closely)
26. “Girlfriend” creator Matthew + Untouchable Eliot = “#34 of the Bears” nickname
27. British philosopher and economist John Stuart + Flying machinist Wilbur = Maker of river or wind harnessers
28. Lombardi Award winner and Super Bowl winning Packer A.J. + Irish playwright “Bernard” = epononym named after a detective in a play
29.  Ballplayer Bobby or Robbie + Seymour, Franny, Zooey, Bessie or Buddy = piece of stemware from which pinot noir is sipped
30. Pioneering English entomologist Thomas + Tupperware party pioneer Brownie = the flipside of “pound foolish” (2 words)



Riffing Off Shortz Slices:
Common(wealth) criminals

Will Shortz’s May 6th NPR Weekend Edition Sunday puzzle reads:
Name a certain kind of criminal. Drop the first two letters and the last letter of the word, and you’ll name a country. What is it?
Puzzleria!’s Riffing Off Shortz Slices read:
ONE:
Take the last name of a well-known criminal. Drop the first letter and the last two letters of the name, and you’ll name a country. 
What are the county and the name of the criminal?  
TWO:
Name a certain kind of criminal. Drop the first five letters and the last three letters of the word, and you’ll name a country. What are the country and the kind of criminal?
THREE:
Name an adjective describing criminals who are secretly in cahoots to commit a crime. 
Drop the first five letters and the last letter of the word, and you’ll name a country. What are the country and the adjective?
FOUR:
Add an M to the beginning and a “t” and “e” to the end of the name of a country. 
Remove a vowel from the interior, leaving a space, and you’ll name two substances that criminals may deal in. 
What are the country and the two substances? 
FIVE:
Name a creature with a reputation for behavior that might be considered criminal if judged by human standards. 
Drop the first letter and last two letters of the creature’s name and you’ll name a country. 
What are the creature and the country? 
SIX:
Name an ill-fated schooner from poetry. 
Drop the first three letters and the last letter of the name, and you’ll name a country. 
What are the names of the schooner and country?

Dessert Menu

Domestic Dessert:
Nothing (almost) comes before “family”

Take an adjective that often comes before the word “family.” Lengthen this adjective by adding a prefix with letters that can be rearranged to spell a member of the family. 
This longer adjective often comes before a word that rhymes with a synonym of that family member. 
What is this longer adjective? What are the family member and its synonym?

Mother Mongoose Nursery Rhyme Dessert:
A mother only a mugshot could love

Fill in the six blanks in the lyrics to the following parody of a century-old ode-to-mother song: 
M is for the _____ that she laundered. (5-letter word)
O is for her ____ shrill abuse. (4)
T is for the ____ of bills she squandered. (4)
H is for her ______ of beer and booze. (6)
E is for the ___ she boxed to guide me. (3) 
R is for her seldom _______ wrongs. (7)
Spelled out that’s MOTHER, Oh how she’d deride me!
I’m baffled why she’s so acclaimed in songs.


Hint: The six words use exactly the same 29 letters as the words beginning with M, O, T, H, E and R in the original 1915 song: Million, Old, Tears, Heart, Eyes and Right.

Every Friday at Joseph Young’s Puzzleria! we publish a new menu of fresh word puzzles, number puzzles, logic puzzles, puzzles of all varieties and flavors. We cater to cravers of scrumptious puzzles!

Our master chef, Grecian gourmet puzzle-creator Lego Lambda, blends and bakes up mysterious (and sometimes questionable) toppings and spices (such as alphabet soup, Mobius bacon strips, diced snake eyes, cubed radishes, “hominym” grits, anagraham crackers, rhyme thyme and sage sprinklings.)


Please post your comments below. Feel free also to post clever and subtle hints that do not give the puzzle answers away. Please wait until after 3 p.m. Eastern Time on Wednesdays to post your answers and explain your hints about the puzzles. We serve up at least one fresh puzzle every Friday.

We invite you to make it a habit to “Meet at Joe’s!” If you enjoy our weekly puzzle party, please tell your friends about Joseph Young’s Puzzleria! Thank you.